


I have always known (that you're different from anybody else that I've met, but it must be the overthinker in me that can't be eased so easily)

by iwritestuffs



Series: Here U Are (Collection of Drabbles and Fics) [2]
Category: Here U Are (Webcomic)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Divergent, Established Relationship, M/M, Mention of Chu HuanWen/Ji Yuan, Mentions of douchebag exes, Mentions of homophobia, navigating relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27692282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritestuffs/pseuds/iwritestuffs
Summary: He's used to being treated as a dirty secret no one should know, he's used to being discarded after they got bored or they're sure as hell about their sexual orientation, he used to it all that's why he's having a hard time navigating this new relationship because this isn't what he's used to.
Relationships: Li Huan/Yu Yang (Here U Are)
Series: Here U Are (Collection of Drabbles and Fics) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025263
Kudos: 9





	I have always known (that you're different from anybody else that I've met, but it must be the overthinker in me that can't be eased so easily)

**Author's Note:**

> This is perhaps a continuation of my first fic about HuanYang.

"If you will be sighing all night, you should've just called me instead," Chu HuanWen said while looking at his bestfriend.

Yu Yang didn't say anything, "I invited you here to ask how's things between you and Yuan," he said while stirring his part of the hotpot.

"We're doing good," Chu HuanWen answered. Yu Yang looked at him like he's waiting for more but there's really nothing to tell. They're doing good, everything is finally falling to its places, he wished he could say the same thing for his bestfriend.

"What happened now?" Chu HuanWen asked. "Did you two have a fight again?"

Yu Yang shakes his head. "No we didn't," he answered. That's one of the things that he's still navigating in this current relationship, they rarely fight - Li Huan was probably the most understanding person he ever met.

"Then why do you seem so sad?" Chu WenHan probed.

Yu Yang sighed again, "I... I don't understand... I should be glad right? Li Huan was far from those douche bags that I dated in the past, he's their total opposite, but why am I still expecting something would go wrong..."

"It's because you're used to it." He's seen it all, they met when they're still university students and quickly become good friends. And he's been there with his every heart breaks, with his every tears, he's seen him on his lowest low and highest high, he's seen him when he's happy and when he's sad. "You're used to things going south after a while."

If they weren't eating at a restaurant, Yu Yang would have probably banged his head onto the table, but instead he settled in putting one of his hand on his chin and sigh, for the tenth time since they got there.

"What's wrong with me? I have finally met someone who's not douche and yet here I am," Yu Yang groaned. "I'm the acting like a douche."

Chue HuanWen take a sip of his tea before he answered his bestfriend. "You should have more faith in Li Huan, you know."

"I do, I believe in him, we wouldn't be together in the first place I don't have faith in him," Yu Yang countered.

He looked at him, "Then... what are still doing here?"

"You can be mean if you wanted to," Yu Yang said. "You know that?"

"I know," Chu HuanWen replied. "However I am not the topic of conversation, save your complaints for later. I'm just looking out for you, Yangyang, I know the scars would remain, the pain won't go away, not in the near future at least, but you can't really be sabotaging your relationship with Li Huan..."

 _Because of those scumbags who doesn't even deserved to be remembered, nor be discussed,_ Chu HuanWen wants to added but he restrained himself. The best way to get them out of the picture is for them to stop bringing them up.

"I don't know how to... how to... how to not be a douche."

Chu HuanWen sighed, at times like these, he would like to hunt down all of Yangyang's exes and made the pay for their past actions.

Before they meet he had two boyfriends, all of whom didn't end well. They played with his heart and make fun of his sexual orientation, his three boyfriends in university wasn't any good either, one of them pretended to like him in order to win a free food for the whole year, Yangyang was contemplating of doing something but in the end he was able to reasoned out, or else he might have been kicked out of the university.

The next one seems like a perfect angel, he's sweet, he cared about Yangyang, but the truth is, he just wants to spite his ex-girlfriend, by dating him.

The last one was straight up douche, he never pretended to be an angel, which they appreciated at the very least, but still, he's a douche. Maybe the biggest of them all.

He's a homophobic douche bag who dated Yangyang and dumped him for no reason at all. "Why don't you start with opening up to Li Huan about your past relationships," Chu HuanWen answered. "I know talking about them hurts you still, but opening up to him about your past can make him understand why you're like that at times."

"I'm afraid... that once Huanhuan knew about them, he would change..."

Yu Yang ruffled his hair in frustration. Li Huan rarely say anything, but his eyes would tell you what's on his mind, and he knows that he may appear stoic almost all the times, he's deeply hurt by his actions whenever he would try to hold his hand in public, or whenever he would introduce him to the world as his friend.

The thing is, he's been dying to hold his hand and let the world know that Li Huan is his, but the world they live in cannot understand that, and will never try to understand. And he thought he's just protecting him, shielding Li Huan from their malicious thoughts, but he came to realize that, he's so used to being treated as a dirty secret no one should know, he's used to being discarded after they got bored or they're sure as hell about their sexual orientation, he used to it all that's why he's having a hard time navigating this new relationship because this isn't what he's used to.

If this is just the same as his past relationships, he would know what to do, he would cry for a few days, mourn his heart for a months and moved on with his life, carry on as he always do, but that's not the case.

He is so happy that he's different as well as it confuses him on what to do and what to say, not to mention that he's his first. "Try to keep an open communication," Chu HuanWen suggested. "I know you would rather keep things to yourself, you're used to bearing it all, but you shouldn't, we're here for you, Li Huan is there for you."

* * *

Chu HuanWen's words still rings as he trudges up to their apartment. Yu Yang sighed, "If only..."

He entered the unit as quietly as possible, it's just 8PM but just in case, then he saw Li Huan standing in the kitchen, with his apron on, cooking something, he doesn't know yet what he's cooking but it's delicious for sure.

Li Huan didn't turned his back on him when he put his keys on the bowl, but his shoulders tensed up a little bit, he stopped mixing for a few seconds then he resumed again.

Not wanting to let this night passed without reconciling, he went and hugged Li Huan from behind, "Sorry," he muttered even though his words were muffled since his face was buried on his back. "I didn't mean to..."

He didn't meant to pull his hand when Li Huan tried to reach for his hands while they're walking on the streets.

Li Huan stopped cooking, and held his hands. "I'm sorry too... I should have asked you first if you're comfortable with us holding-hands in the street."

He wanted it, he really wanted it, but being denied of that in the past, plus the second looks they'll surely get from passersby, he's not sure if he would like to risk it.

"I... I'm not used to this... this... this isn't what I'm used t-" Yu Yang was trying to explain why he's acting like a douche when Li Huan suddenly faces him and hugged him.

"You... you don't have to explain yourself, I'm sorry... I asked Chu HuanWen before, he didn't say anything, don't worry, but his actions was enough for me to think that you... you don't have a great experiences with your past boyfriends."

He buried his face further on Li Huan's chest prompting for the latter to tighten his hug on to him. "I have said this before and I'll say this again, I'll wait for you..."

"I have always known that you're different from anybody else that I've met, but it must be the overthinker in me that can't be eased so easily," Yu Yang said.

Li Huan kissed the top of his head. "Have you eaten?"

He gently shakes his head. "I don't have that much appetite, but I would like to eat now..."

"I'll set the table then we'll eat," Li Huan said, kissing his forehead before releasing him to set the table.

As Yu Yang stood on the side, watching Li Huan set the table, he made vow to himself. He would do everything in his power to make it up to him, no matter how long it takes.

"Yu Yang?"

Yangyang snapped out of his thoughts, "Yes?"

"Let's eat?"

With a smile, Yu Yang crosses the small distance between them. "Yeah, let's."


End file.
